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SEX AND HEART ILLNESS: CAUSES OF SEX DRIVE DIFFERENCES

Most of us do not accept the fact that people are no different from other species of animals when it comes to variations in sexual energy. The frequency of sexual activity of any group of individuals within every species of animal, including humans, falls into a bell-shaped curve if plotted across a given period of time. In other words, if 100 rabbits are allowed constant access to breedable mates for a given time, and if the number of times each of these rabbits breeds is charted, some average number of breedings will emerge for this group of animals. Some rabbits will breed considerably more frequently than the statistical average; others will breed less frequently. The point is that we do not label the rabbits that breed more frequently as manipulative or nymphomaniac rabbits. We just conclude that those rabbits have more biologically based sexual energy. Similarly, we would not conclude that the rabbits that breed less frequently are angry or holding back or psychologically hung up from their rabbit childhood experiences. We just conclude that those rabbits have less biologically based sex drive.
So it is with human beings. Most people marry people who have biologically based sex drives that differ from their own. And then the trouble starts. The trouble is rooted in the foolish notion that if we love each other enough we will end up being the same. We understand the foolishness of such thinking if we try to apply it to any biological appetite other than sex. After pouting for forty-eight hours, try saying this to your partner with tears in your eyes and exasperation in your voice: "It's just that I figured that after all these years you would want to sneeze whenever I want to" (for "sneeze" you can substitute "eat pizza" or "go to the bathroom" or any other biological need).
The truth, of course, is that we are biologically different from each other even if we do love each other. Many psychological, behavioral, and relationship factors can contribute to sex drive struggles between couples, but one physical characteristic that probably has much to do with determining sex drive differences in many couples is the hormone testosterone. Testosterone is typically referred to as the male hormone because it causes the secondary sexual characteristics in men, such as facial hair and deepened voice. However, this hormone is also present in lesser degrees in women.
Testosterone fuels sexual drive in both sexes. Males are especially dependent on testosterone to fuel sex drive, and they require much greater levels of it to maintain their normal levels of sexual desire. This is a somewhat unfortunate fact, because the normal bodily changes that correspond with aging include diminishment of testosterone level, especially in men. Women, too, experience lessening of testosterone levels as they age, and also if they have their ovaries removed during a hysterectomy.
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