0 items

THE SECRET OF INTIMACY: FORGIVENESS

Because none of us is perfect, we are certain to make mistakes. As individuals and as couples, we sometimes simply make poor choices. We choose as wisely as we can, sometimes to discover later that a different choice would have been better. We sometimes are mean and unfair to each other. We sometimes behave selfishly with no justification. We sometimes are insensitive to the needs of our partner, and we sometimes are aware of our partner's needs but choose not to respond lovingly.
These "sometimes" occurrences do not make us all lousy individuals and mates. Even the most intimate marriages are often clouded by less than perfect relationship events. But intimate partners do not let such mistakes and painful relationship events turn into intimacy-diminishing processes in their marriage. They apologize to each other, and they forgive—they forgive each other and they forgive themselves.
Unhealthy relationships, on the other hand, have a cancer called resentment. Resentment results from clinging to anger. Resentment is fueled by blaming. Partners in dying relationships remind me of a seventy-eight-year-old woman I once knew who had fiery black eyes and one motto in life: "Find out who's to blame, and blame that sucker!" Couples who live in a spirit of forgiveness are able to heal wounds and soothe hurts with relatively little effort. In contrast, it is exhausting and demoralizing to live with someone who does not forgive. I periodically treat couples who change greatly in response to marital therapy but remain miserable. Such people can learn to enhance their communication styles. They can learn to solve problems more fruitfully and to make love more pleasurably. They can learn to understand themselves and each other with more psychological sophistication. They can do all this right stuff, but their efforts do not bear fruit because they do not forgive. Forgiving is like casting away a hot ember that has been placed in your hand. Letting go of this pain frees you to create and to enjoy the balm of continued intimate connection.
*50\170\9*

WEIGHT LOSS DIET (3 weeks)

HIGH FIBRE WEIGHT LOSS DIET

ZINC

 

 

 

 

News

YOUR CHILD’S HEALTH/ BLINDNESS: TREATMENT

The first step to appropriate treatment is accurate diagnosis. If you suspect that your baby has visual problems, first see your doctor who will refer him to an eye specialist for thorough eye tests. Most causes of visual impairment cannot be cured, the exception being surgical repair of a cataract. However, much can be done [...]

SEXUAL INBERITANCE: THE WRONG LESSONS OF LOVE: TWELVE EROTIC ERRORS

The young couple in the parked car struggled so not only because they didn’t have a place for sex or a way to be safely comfortable and communicate sexually, but also because they had learned well the wrong lessons of sex. Ironically, this young couple’s struggle was similar in many ways to sexual struggles within [...]

YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WHY HUSBANDS DON’T HAVE ORGASM: MR. MYTH – THE EJACULATION-AS-ORGASM MYTH

You can’t tell me that ejaculation isn’t orgasm. This is just a bunch of crap, some type of psychobabble. You come or you don’t. I don’t want to hear any more about this stuff. It is just crap. HUSBAND AT SESSION ONE      I never would have thought it. It seems so obvious now. How could I ever [...]

Articles

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION SYMPTOMS

Most patients have a combination of two or more of these problems. They are usually first given a thorough medical history and examination to determine the extent of the prob­lem and to hopefully pinpoint a cause. I want to briefly outline the nature of these four symptoms so that your problem will make more sense to you as a patient if you are experiencing any of them.

PRESCRIBED DRUGS

Taking prescribed medications with most vitamins is safe as is taking herbal complexes that are available through health food stores. However, you should always check with your doctor, your pharmacist or your naturopath. They are all trained to know what can go with what.

Weight loss

Overweight is most commonly a result of overeating and lack of exercise. Overweight and fluid retention often go together with people who have glandular problems or under-active thyroids. In such cases an iodine and phosporous deficiency may be the cause.